Perfection: A Death Wish

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Perhaps perfection is an avoidance of being fully seen. A rejection of life, aliveness, the mystery, truly an aspect of Thanatos, the embodiment of death. Perfectionism is sterile, it sucks dry life’s juicy unknown. The dark feminine. There is a tightness around the somatic experience of striving for perfection, a very tine line to walk, a very small box to inhabit. What surrounds the narrow scope of perfection's gaze, is a belief deep down stuck on repeat, that parrots, "I am not enough as I am." This belief becomes the fertile ground for judgement, competition, and comparison and underneath it all is a grief stricken child who longs for unconditional love.

There is no freedom in her perfect little box, just a hamster spinning on a wheel. Who created this box? Perhaps it is like a family heirloom, passed down through many generations, only to land in her hands. Perhaps it is the patriarchy that she was born into. A social system that systematically devalues her, fears her darkness, her wildness, her power.

Striving for perfection is what keeps her slave to the capitalist regime.

Commodified we are. Bodies bought and sold, forgetting they house souls. Yet no matter how much is bought and sold, there will never be enough to satiate the hunger of perfection. We are being fed a lie, "perfection" does not exist here, not on this earthly plane.

Yet, we live in a culture ruled by the toxic masculine, a culture that promotes and demands the impossibility of perfection, inject that there, nip and tuck this here, maybe then I will be enough. We live under a hypnosis that convinces us that we must constantly improve who we are. What if we all, in this moment hopped off the hamster wheel and saw our own power and wholeness? What a rebellion! I would imagine that capitalism as we know it would collapse.

There is an incredible well of emptiness underneath this addiction, underneath this insatiable hunger. An emptiness that can only be filled by spirit, soul. Fear is its fuel. There will never be enough accomplishment, enough beauty, enough control, enough talent to fill that empty space.

Striving for impossible perfection is what causes us to starve ourselves and slit our wrists. Driving us toward a perfection that exists only in death, the afterlife.

Let us remember the beauty in aliveness. It is in the imperfections that our uniqueness lives, our one of a kind flavor. No, you do not need to be perfect in order to be lovable, it is quite to the contrary, it is in your imperfections that there is space for love to blossom.

Article Written for Channel the Sun Magazine

Posted on July 19, 2024 .

Snap the Goddess Awake!

Snap! The Robot Awake…aka Awaken the Goddess. The mythological Goddess has been living underground in the psyche of all Earth’s sentient beings for thousands of years. The effects of which are evident in the ailments of our modern world, ailments that I believe can be healed through Her reemergence and the marriage of masculine and feminine principles on a macro and micro level. 

The reality is that this is not a women’s issue alone; this is a human issue. Patriarchy is not synonymous with the masculine, it is a societal structure based on power and control. Women can be just as competitive and power hungry as men (Woodman, 1993, p. 120). Though the feminine in men is more damaged than in women, this is an issue that we must work on together (p. 119). As Woodman put it (1985):

The word “feminine,” as I understand it, has very little to do with gender, nor is woman the custodian of femininity. Both men and women are searching for their pregnant virgin. She is the part of us who is outcast, the part who comes to consciousness through going into darkness, mining our leaden darkness, until we bring her silver out. (p. 10)

We are living in a time that does not have any mythological role models to ground us in a meaningful spiritual context. The challenge for women is to “flower as individuals” in the image of a woman, not a man, but “there are no models in our mythology for an individual woman’s quest. Nor is there any model for the male in marriage to an individuated female” (Campbell, 2013, p. xiv). We have to go boldly into the future and recreate our own stories, new metaphors that fit our modern paradigm, while simultaneously connecting us to our roots in ancient wisdom. “We are in this thing together and have to work it out together…in patient fostering of each other’s growth” (Campbell, 2013, p. xiv).

Herman Wirth, a lecturer and professor in the 1980s in Germany, posited “the primordial Mother Goddess as the original religious impulse of humanity…. He held that a resurgence of this impulse is now necessary, based on spiritual potential rather than external power, if our humanity is to survive” (Gimbutas, 1991, p. 50). Wirth believed that the earliest forms of society were matriarchal in structure before 2500 B.C. (p. 50). In these earlier agricultural societies, the Goddess was a symbol of regeneration not only in human birth, but in all birth in the natural world (p. 30). The gradual transformation from a matriarchal society to a patriarchal society was initiated between 4500-2500 B.C. when patriarchal nomadic tribes led by war gods began invading southeastern Europe (p. 48).  

Over time, the Goddess became repressed in the shadow of the psyche, the depth of the collective unconscious, and the masculine power structure began to take hold. As mythologist, writer, and lecturer, Joseph Campbell said:

In the older view the goddess Universe was alive, herself organically the Earth, the horizon, and the heavens. Now she is dead, and the universe is not an organism, but a building, with gods at rest in it in luxury: not as personifications of the energies in their manners of operation, but as luxury tenants, requiring service. And Man, accordingly, is not as a child born to flower in the knowledge of his own eternal portion but as a robot fashioned to serve. (2013, p. xxiii)

The deadness of the goddess universe is evident in how disconnected our society is from the feminine earth and from Her various forms of nourishment, our food, our forests, our landfills. Even wild, feminine nature Herself is perceived as a threat; a forlorn and terrifying place, a place that the imbalanced masculine continues to control, destroy, and exploit.

It appears that patriarchal structure, oriented around power, competition, efficiency, and status has squeezed out the unique powers symbolized by the Goddess and “left no room for feminine meandering…. The feminine isn’t interested in being at the top; she is dedicated to life in the moment (Woodman, 1993, p. 116). If we are to have faith in the natural cycles of life, our current time of overpowering patriarchy is as natural as the waning and waxing of the moon. Perhaps, we have to leave the Garden of Eden, so to speak, in order to have a divine context for who we truly are. To that end this fall from grace appears to be necessary to the evolution of humanity. 

In the meantime, as citizens of this power-driven world, we are actually far less powerful, expansive, and self-realized than we could be if the feminine were to be reintegrated into our masculine-dominated consciousness. As Campbell (2004) said, “the shadow is the landfill of the self. Yet it is also sort of a vault: it holds great unrealized potentialities within”(p. 73). The Goddess and what she symbolizes is part of this unrealized potentiality. The potential of collaboration, presence, spontaneity, and flow. The possibility of living through the heart, deep intuition, body wisdom, and connection to the cycles of life and death. It is apparent that “if only a portion of that lost totality could be drudged up into the light of day, we should experience a marvelous expansion of our powers, a vivid renewal of life” (Campbell, 2008, p. 12). This would trigger a rebirth in the process of restoring harmony and balance to the complimentary natures of masculine and feminine.


Posted on July 27, 2019 .

Every Day is Earth Day

So I am a few days late for an Earth Day post, but truly, every day is Earth Day. This place is our home 365 days a year, so perhaps it would be wise to live here with awareness, respect, and intentionality as much as possible.

We are stewards of this land. I think we forget sometimes our inextricable link to this home we call Earth. We forget that our health and wellness as a species is entirely dependent on Her health and wellness. The stewardship of the Earth is not any one nation’s problem or issue, it is a human issue.

With that, I have listed below 7 Easy Ways to Honor Mother Earth:

1. Avoid massive amounts of packaging.

  • Skip the supermarket and try shopping at your local farmer’s market. Not only will you reduce waste from packaging, but you will be able to enjoy fresh, ripe, local, and seasonal foods.

  • You can either buy glass jars like these Ball Jars on Amazon (Made in USA) or just save the glass jars from honey, nut butter, coconut oil etc. and repurpose them to hold bulk food items.

  • Find a local Co-Op or health food store with a bulk section and purchase items like rice, granola, cacao, flour, nuts, tea etc. there. That way you can avoid using packaged goods and you can buy just the amount you are going to use to avoid food waste.

 

2. Reduce Needless Waste.

  • Bring your own reusable shopping bags or use paper bags as trash bags and recycling bags. These African-made baskets are my favorite!

  • Bring your own produce bags like these ones (Made in USA).

 

3. Create a little Earth-friendly travel kit to put in your car or bag.

    What to put in your travel kit:

 

4. Save Water.

  • Put a jar in your sink and in your shower to collect gray water and use this to water your plants.

  • Don’t flush the toilet unless you have to...ain’t nothin’ wrong with a little pee!

 

5. Say a little prayer.

Give thanks and say a little prayer before you eat to acknowledge the bounty in front of you and honor the hard work of the many individuals who helped bring it to your plate.

 

6. Compost.

First, grab yourself a kitchen compost container like this eco recycled plastic one. If you have a garden buy a compost bin or make your own (for tips and further information head here). If you live in the city without a garden find a local Co-op garden to bring your compost to!

 

7. Keep your hood clean!

Organize a beach, neighborhood, or park clean up or just clean up trash as you go about your day! Check out the amazing work that Surfrider does keeping our beaches clean and healthy!

 

 

The Great Mother

The creator and the destroyer. She wields the power to give life and the power to take it away. She sustains me and devours me.

I explore her curves and crevasses. I caress her soft spots and dance around her jagged edges.

She is nurturing and violent. The home to my body vessel in life and in death.

Humbled as I am, I love her unconditionally for she gives of herself without any expectation of return, but return we must.

We must respect her, see her in all her beauty and horror, care for her sacred soul, protect her natural movement toward harmony and wholeness, her innate desire to heal and repair.

The way we have raped, exploited, and ravaged her, mirrors back to me how we relate to the wild feminine in ALL beings. We wish to control, repress, and degrade the raw power that she holds rather than surrendering to the awe she inspires, bowing down in humility to kiss her sweet skin.

I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.

 

 

Posted on April 26, 2017 .